怎么习惯远距离恋爱 / How do I get used to LDR
作者：中国话术交流网 来源：中国话术交流网 发布时间：2019-12-17 栏目：撩妹套路
6月23日分开的我们，12月23日会再见，整整六个月。
We said good bye on June 23, we'll meet on December 23, 6 whole months.
相隔半年再见，已经成为了我们之间默认的见面频率了。
It has become our routine, meeting every 6 months.
How did I survive one 6 months and more?
My experience is, just get used to it.
只能够是去习惯这样子的等待，习惯这样子的恋爱模式，习惯见面后很快要分离的事实。
You have to get used to the waiting, the long distance relationship pattern, and the fact that you'll be apart from each other soon.
You just have to get used to it.
When I just started LDR, I cried my eyes out when we just left each other.
I understand "I have to cherish every second because we won't be together soon".
因为必须要习惯，不能够习惯，自己会不停去想为什么自己要选择这样子折磨的恋爱，然后给自己带来很大的消极情绪，也会给对方带来“看来还是分开才会让你开心”的想法。
Because I know I have to get used to it. If not, I'll keep thinking why would I choose to suffer from a relationship? I'll just keep having negative thoughts, also it'll make him feel "it's better to let you go so you can truly be happy".
每天联系，是能够保证我自己对这段感情有信心的基础。
Chatting everyday makes me feel confident about this relationship.
很多远距离情侣会在见面后，发现两个人能说的越来越少，就开始考虑分手了。
Many long distance couples talk less and less after meeting, then they'll think about breaking up.
从以前分开后，连发消息都会掉泪，现在习以为常，是因为我用心碎建立起来的这个习惯。
I used to cry when we I messaged him, now I'm used to it. Tears build up this habit.
两个人分开后，每天都聊天，会让双方感觉，就算两个人不再一起了，还是能够通过手机随时和对方联系。
Chatting everyday will make both of you feel, even you two are not together anymore, you still can reach him/her anytime you want.
因为我们住在彼此的手机里，我们还会联系，就代表我们还会再见。
Because we live in each other's phone, as long as we still talk, it means we'll meet again.
· 每周视频 Video chat every week
This is the fastest way to meet, the best way to talk face to face as well.
从以前分开后视频会狂哭，到现在的习惯，也是用泪水建立起来的。
I used to cry when we video chatted each other after we went back to our own home, and now I'm used to it. Tears also built up this habit.
自己哭，反而会让对方觉得无力，尽管就是一台手机的距离，但是没有办法给自己拥抱或者擦眼泪。
If I keep crying when we video chat, he'll feel bad because he can't do anything. Even we're just one phone away, still can't give me a hug or wipe off tears for me.
现在分开后再视频，只会感慨时间真的过得很快，无论在一起多少周，都感觉不够。
Now we video chat after being together, we're just surprised how fast time goes by, and it's always not enough time to be together.
不停给对方发自己手机里拍的照片，视频，一起怀念还在一起的每一刻。
We send pictures and videos in our phones to each other, try to relive every moment.
以前刚分开，看到手机里两个人的合照视频，都会掉泪。因为明明前一个小时两个人还在一起，现在自己居然已经变成了一个人。
I used to cry when I saw our pictures and videos in my phone. I always cried because "we were still together 2 hours ago, and now I'm alone".
现在，我只会看着合照和视频，回想起那一刻，重新回忆那一刻我们是有多开心。
Now, I look at the pictures and videos, I just remember how happy we were at that moment.
以前总会觉得，分开后，再一次的见面会是遥远的以后。
I used to think, if we meet again, it won't be soon.
I used to get panic, kept thinking if we would meet again.
现在只会默默看放假安排，看工作安排，默默定下一个大约的月份，倒计时，让等待变得有期待。
Now I check what holidays are coming, see how much cases I have to finish, and set a date to myself, do a little countdown, make my boring life have something to look forward to.
Normally it takes 2 months for me to get used being alone again.
以前到了分开后的第三个月，总是会有争执，都是围绕一个问题：几时能再见？但是自己是很清楚的，这个答案不确定。
We used to fight the third month after we were apart, they were all about one question, when will we meet again? But I knew, we couldn't be sure about the date.
怎么样能够让两个人都凑出假期来谈恋爱呢？很难，尤其我们不在一个国家。刚开始会很无助，也会很失落，会自己给这段感情投入很多消极的情绪。
I didn't know how could we find a perfect date for us to meet, especially we are not in a same country. I felt hopeless and disappointed in the beginning, I poured too much negative energy on myself.
现在我会依照自己的放假安排，工作安排，尽可能和他的假期重叠，能见多少就多少。因为我很清楚，两个人不可能有完全重叠的假期，只能够是在我们已给的条件下去创造最好的结局。
Now I know what holidays are coming, our work schedule. I will try to find dates that we both can take time off. I know we can't find a perfect date for us, but I insist on making the best out of what we're given.
As long as we can meet, even just 4 hours a day, it still counts.
I would get upset if we still haven't made any plans to meet around the fourth month.
"散了吧？” "Maybe it's time to break up?"
“不可能会再见的。” "There's no way we'll meet again."
“你还不提见面？你一定不想见了。” "You still haven't said anything about meeting? You don't want to see me."
现在，会主动去提我这边大概几月会有节假日，大概工作什么时候会比较清闲，会主动问他大概几时见面比较好。
Now, I tell him about our holidays, around what time my work won't be busy anymore, and ask which month is better to meet.
这样才能敲定见面的时间，才会有期待，等待才不会无限期。
That's how we plan to meet, that's how I can have something to look forward to, that's how I don't feel the waiting is endless.
If you don't ask, you just have to wait.
我个人是认为，如果对方想见你，是会主动提及见面的事。不管是不是假期不合，不管是不是要等一段比较长的时间。想见你，会主动来找你的。
To me, I think as long as someone wants to see you, that person will bring it up. Even holidays are not overlapped, or you have to wait a long time. If that person wants to see you, that person will go see you.
以前会在见面前三个月就开始倒计时，会异常兴奋，会在脑海中将两个人的见面演一遍。
I used to get excited 3 months before we met, I even pictured how we would be in my head.
现在，会知道我们见到彼此的第一件事，不会戏剧性地跑，也不会痛哭。
Now, I know when we meet each other, we won't run and jump on each other, we won't cry.
以前的我总是会在出发前三个月就处于太兴奋的状态，导致后面真的临近见面，反而不兴奋了。
I used to get too excited 3 months before we met, when we were finally about to meet, I wasn’t that excited anymore.
现在，我会每天兴奋一小点，直至要见面前一周，我再开始我99%的激动和兴奋。
Now, I get excited a little bit each day. I save my 99% excitement for the week before we meet.
No matter before or now, I get happy when it's almost time to meet.
The only thing I'm used to it, the 15 hours flight.
But something will never change, is how excited I get when I land.
Birthday / holidays / anniversary / valentine's day / wedding
刚开始远距离恋爱，遇到自己的生日，或者对方的生日，第一反应都是：难过。
When I just started long distance relationship, I got sad when it was our birthdays.
因为不能够亲口说生日快乐，不能够一起吃蛋糕。生日当天是应该被对方宠溺的一天，但是因为距离的原因，只能够默默的接受微信掉下来的蛋糕表情，国际邮递的礼物，还有默默希望下一年的生日能够在一起庆祝。
You can't tell him/her happy birthday in person, you can't eat cake together. Birthday is the only day you get to be spoiled or act like a little baby as you want, but you're in a long distance relationship, you can only take the emojis falling off when you get a happy birthday on Wechat, gifts and a little hope that next year you'll be together celebrating.
现在，知道自己能够在生日当天收到他发来的视频请求，知道会收到他的礼物，就足够了。能够被一个远远的人惦记着，是最幸福的事。
Now, I get video chat on birthday, gifts from him, that's enough.
You can be loved and missed by someone so far away from you, isn't the best thing in the world?
以前遇到节日，会很失落，因为根本没办法和他一起分享。
I used to get upset during holidays, because I couldn't spend any of them with him.
现在，会给他发照片，录视频，会介绍。手机和网络，就是拉近我们彼此距离的工具，那就要利用起来。
Now, I send pictures, videos, I introduce.
Phone and internet are tools to get closer with people.
The only day should be together celebrating is anniversary.
可是因为两个人之间的距离，时差，不允许我们想一起庆祝纪念日，就能够一起庆祝。
The distance, the time difference, we're not allowed to celebrate together.
以前不停错过，总是有遗憾。尽管彼此在纪念日当天会微信庆祝，但是心里还是会落寞，因为真的不能算作是一种庆祝。
If only we could celebrate anniversary together.
Even we would say it on Wechat, but I still get upset, because that's not really a celebration.
Now I try to cover our anniversary when we meet.
Who wouldn't get upset on valentine's day?
因为到处都是情侣，到处都是粉红色和爱心，餐厅也会特别为情侣而设计菜单。自己要一个人面对成千上万的情侣们，是需要很大勇气的。
Everywhere is pink and heart, couples are everywhere. Restaurants have special menu for couples, being in a long distance relationship means you have to be alone
现在，知道对方就在自己手机里，陪自己过节，是很幸福的事。
Now, knowing my date lives in my phone, that's enough.
Weddings would make you feel hopeless.
刚开始远距离恋爱，根本没有往这方面去想，总觉得婚姻是非常遥远的事。后来开始稳定了，会开始担忧，因为远距离恋爱就意味着不能够常常在一起，能够在一起的时间也格外亲密。会开始质疑，这段感情能走到最后吗？他真的是自己想要的人吗？
When I just started long distance relationship, I didn't think too much of it. Marriage is something you wouldn't think about, but once you get steady, you would start to wonder. Long distance relationship means you can't spend too much time together, even when you're finally together you would just be too excited to consider if he/she is the one. You will start to wonder if your relationship will last.
现在，习惯了，不会因为身边有人结婚而感到慌张或者是开始给自己施加压力。因为自己的感情，不能够跟着身边的人步伐走。
Now, because I'm used to it. I won't get stressed when my friends or people around me are getting married. Because you know you can't just follow how others do, your relationship is not like theirs.
时刻怀疑对方 Always suspect him/her
我是认真会对一切怀疑，这样才能够更好地保护自己。但是我并不认为这是一种健康或者是正确的态度，尤其在远距离恋爱里。
I doubt everything to protect myself. This is not healthy, I don't think this is right, especially in long distance relationship, you need trust.
信任的重要性，每个人都很了解，没有信任，感情是会瓦解的。
Everyone knows how important trust is, without it, your relationship will fall apart.
但是对于我自己而言，我对一切怀疑，他都会给我回应和证明，我才能够安心。
But to me, because he will respond and prove when I have doubts.
站在保护自己的角度，以前的我不想先100%相信他，因为害怕受伤害。
I didn't trust him 100% first because I was afraid to get hurt, I just wanted to protect myself.
I used to suspect everything, now I trust him(hmm
).
能够习惯两个人长时间分隔两地，还是因为我们之间有信任。
I'm used to being in long distance relationship, because we have trust.
(I know it's weird after last paragraph is about how I didn't trust him)
我的信任，都是来自于我的质疑。这也算是我们之间日常的一个话题，我日常的质疑，他日常的证明，让我安心。
My trust comes from my suspicion.This has become our routine, I question, he proves, that's how I have trust.
远距离情侣之间的距离，是会无理由地产生怀疑、嫉妒、甚至是无理的指责。
Distance between long distance couples, it causes suspicion, jealousy, even accusation for no reason.
We used to get mad right away.
现在，会先证明自己。距离能够带来的消极情绪，很多远距离情侣能够明白。如果两个人先不针对问题去解决，而是先发泄情绪，问题会越来越严重。
Now, we prove first. Distance brings negative thoughts to you, if you don't want to solve problems first, you'll just make it worst by getting mad.
如果没有得到对方一句肯定的回复，没有对方手机截图，信任根本建立不起来。
There won't be any trust if you don't give a positive response or a screenshot.
一味要求对方相信你，是很难的，如果你能够尽自己最大能力去证明，对方才会开始慢慢相信你。
It's hard if you just ask him/her to trust you, you have to prove it first.
维护对方 / Defend for him/her
I personally hate listening to the crazy talks.
这个抗拒，是有前提的，以下这些情况发生，就不值得你维护。
If these happen, then he/she is not worth defending.
1. 出轨，聊骚；Cheating, sexting;
4. 背着你，在家人/朋友面前瞧不起你；Look down on you in front of family / friends;
5. 不认为两个人可以走到最后，不停给你和这段感情施加不必要的压力。Keep saying it won't last and keep giving you pressure.
从刚开始身边的人说的话，我都会听进去，现在，我毫不在乎。
I used to listen what people say, now I don't care.
"You won't know if he cheats."
“他有什么好的？那么远，看都看不到，半年都见不到一次。”
"What's so good about him? He's far, you can't even see him."
"He's wasting your time."
刚开始远距离恋爱，听到这些话，是会让人无助，慌张，甚至是害怕的。
When you just started long distance relationship, you feel helpless, panic even scared.
还有五个月，我们就会变成第五年。现在的我，听到上面的话，我都不会听进去。
5 more months we'll have our fifth anniversary. If someone say those things to me now, I won't listen.
因为我自己是在这段感情里的人，开不开心，我自己是最清楚的。
Because I know if I'm happy or not, I'm the one in this relationship.
他是怎么样的人，也是只有我最清楚。值不值得，只有我能说了算。
Only I know what kind of person he is, only I get to say if it's worthy.
He didn't care about how others say about our relationship, he kept going.
我能够坚持那么久，是因为我不是一个人在坚持，是他也在坚持。
The reason I can make it so far, because I'm not alone.
Whether long distance or not, it needs both of you to put efforts.
对于远距离情侣而言，最害怕的就是，不知道几时能够见面。如果问了对方，对方只是说：
To long distance couples, it scares you the most when you don't know when you can meet(again). If you ask, he/she just answers:
"I don't know, we'll see".
If you work hard and want to meet, and he/she say:
"Maybe you shouldn't come."
If you make plans and he/she say:
If you want to video chat, and he/she says:
"Why? We're gonna meet anyway."
这些冷漠的语言都是会浇灭积极经营感情那方的热情的，慢慢的，哪怕就那么一点残存的爱会被消耗掉。
These cold replies will kill the feelings you built up slowly. Then, nothing left.
感情是双方一起经营的，只有一个人，是永远没办法成功的。
It takes 2 people to work on a relationship, if there's only one then there's no way you can do it.
When I tell him I miss him, he says it back.
He listens to my complaining.
He will comfort me when I'm upset.
He tries to understand me when I'm sad.
He says yes to me when I want to meet, even he can't take vacation.
I get his messages after I wake up every day.
That's why I can keep working on this relationship.
- 要习惯分离，要明白远距离恋爱的前提就是要习惯分离；
Have to get used to the distance, understand long distance relationship needs you to get used to being apart;
- 前期会难过，很正常，但是不能给自己带来过于消极的影响；
It's normal you'll get sad about not being together, but don't think negatively;
- 有问题要说，要沟通，不说对方可能不知道你在想什么；
If you have questions, ask, communicate. If you don't he/she might not know what you're thinking about;
If people tell you to break up, don't listen;
You need to know if he/she is worth it;
It will never work if you’re the only one putting efforts in this relationship.
内容版权声明：除非注明，否则皆为本站原创文章。
转载注明出处：/koucai/8713.html
